The past 48 hours have been quite, QUITE, eventful. Ranging from installing a new 160 GB HD, a haircut, a drive to MA, a night with fam from all around the U.S., lots of singing, rain, Smokey and the Bandit style driving back from MA to Prospect, then straight away to NY, then a call w/None, finally wrapping up with an evening with U.K. Matt.

PHEW!

Too bad I didn't sleep more than 4 hours during either of my chances. Instead I chose to make pictures readily available for me fam. Me fam rox lotsa. The next evening I decided, at 1 am, that it was time to catch up on four weeks of comics. = O The latest Punisher blew me away. Shards of glass and the body do not go well together... except in Punisher story arcs.

My phone call with None can't be elaborated on at the moment. I need some time to get a grasp on the fact that I've been actively included in her day to day again. Again, I really don't know what to think or even say at the current events that have taken place - emails, a page, & a call. All within a week. Right. Brain needs processing time on how to run with this now. Vrooooom.

And finishing I turn to... Matt!

He's HERE! First time in the U.S. baby! Where did we go after dinner and many hours of conversation? Where? Well of course we went out for ICE CREAM! - Stone Cold Creamery. Welcome to the U.S. Matto-kun. Interestingly, we both appear to have similar frustrations regarding each of our respective governments. But we both easily agree that Japan is our second home. Going there is just so easy. Ahhh.

Back in a few days. Let the us culture absorption begin. But before that happens, ìWhat did you just say Matt? I have no idea what that means in American English.î 0= )

06-27-2004 12:57 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/27/2004 12:57:00 AM 0 comments

At approximately 10 PM last night I ordered a 160 GB HDD from outpost.com. I was advised that something shipped over night would get to me today. Honestly, I doubted it. Dare I doubt them again! NEVER!

Here are the WONDERFUL details. Shop at Outpost.com! Shop at Outpost.com! Shop at Outpost.com!

In reverse order of course.

6/24/04 9 : 01 am Shipment delivered. Elmsford, NY
8 : 20 am With delivery courier.
8 : 01 am Arrived at DHL facility. Elmsford, NY
2 : 53 am Processed at Sort Facility. Wilmington, OH


06-24-2004 10:04 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/24/2004 10:04:00 AM 0 comments

BlndBluprNcss (12:14:39 AM): hey there... did you get my email?

Auto response from gploski (12:14:39 AM): England no longer existed. He'd got that--somehow he'd got it. He tried again. America, he thought, has gone. He couldn't grasp it. He decided to start smaller again. New York was gone. No reaction. He'd never seriously believed it existed anyway. The dollar, he thought, has sunk for ever. Slight tremor there. Every Bogart movie has been wiped, he said to himself, and that gave him a nasty knock. McDonald's, he thought. There is no longer any such thing as a McDonald's hamburger. He passed out. When he came round a second later he found he was sobbing for his mother.

BlndBluprNcss (12:16:26 AM): you are away, I tried.... so good night then
gploski (12:16:58 AM): just had to send something
BlndBluprNcss (12:17:20 AM): hm?
BlndBluprNcss (12:17:23 AM): hi
gploski (12:17:26 AM): you'd like BT's address?
BlndBluprNcss (12:17:50 AM): yeah, or I could send it your way... either way
gploski (12:18:05 AM): up to you. which woul dyou rather?
BlndBluprNcss (12:18:49 AM): It might be easier to give it to you because i still have things I got for you a while ago and never sent
BlndBluprNcss (12:19:02 AM): I can just do it all at once
BlndBluprNcss (12:19:16 AM): I just thought of that
gploski (12:19:33 AM): glad i could help. =-O
BlndBluprNcss (12:20:00 AM): yes yes
BlndBluprNcss (12:21:25 AM): ok, good night then..thanks
gploski (12:21:25 AM): lotsa silence. kinda neat.
gploski (12:21:29 AM): sure tin
gploski (12:21:41 AM): sleep well lass
BlndBluprNcss (12:21:49 AM): ditto
gploski (12:21:54 AM): <--- not a lass
BlndBluprNcss signed off at 12:21:54 AM.

06-24-2004 12:55 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/24/2004 12:55:00 AM 0 comments

I've been wanting to post these lyrics to "...on the radio" because of one or two lines.

You liked me till' you seen me on your t.v.
Well if you're so low below then why you watching

How strange things come back to bite us in the arse. How things can be so cool and then become so not. For some. My site, my journal. Once considered a great place for reflection now a place of pain.

As it is with Howard Stern, if you don't like, change the station.

Freedom of expression.
NELLY FURTADO LYRICS

"... On The Radio (Remember The Days)"

You liked me till' you heard my shit on the radio
Well I hate to say but pop aint' going solo
You liked me till' you heard my shit on the radio
But now I'm just too mainstream for you, oh no
You liked me till' you seen me on your t.v.
Well if you're so low below then why you watching
You say good things come to those who wait
Well I've been waiting a long time for it

[Chorus:]
I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you
And be less then I was just to prove I could walk beside you
Now that I've flown away I see you've chosen to stay behind me
And still you curse the day I decided to stay true to myself

You say your quest is to bring it higher
Well I never seen change without a fire
But from your mouth I have seen a lot of burning
But underneath I think it's a lot of yearning
Your face, the colours change from green to yellow
To the point where you can't even say hello
You tell me you'd kill me if I ever snob you out
Like that's what you'd expect from me, like that's what I'm about

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
It's so much easier to stay down there guaranteeing you're cool
Than to sit up here exposing myself trying to break through
Than to burn in the spotlight, turn in the spitfire
Scream without making a sound, be up here and not look down
because we're all afraid of heights

[Chorus]

Why ya hurt me hurt me hurt me hurt me hurt me hurt me so so,
leave me down down down down low leave me down da down down da down da
down down down...shit on the radio... shit on the radio... shit on the radio... shit on the radio

06-24-2004 12:53 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/24/2004 12:53:00 AM 0 comments

The other night I was privy to a very unfortunate phone call. Emma's ex called her and had nothing to say. When asked why he called the response was a "pretty shitty" reason. He was drunk. The call lasted about 1-2 minutes and left the taste of a stale lime & lemon combined on the night. Sour and bitter.

This evening, morning was my turn for the "call". During the brief online conversation there was a full 1 minute 15 second gap with nothing said. How glorious the technology gods must feel allowing for a simple guy like me to have access to such knowledge. Bwaahaahaha.

I feel unimportant and un-necessary to None. I've offered up many inquiries about her day to day life and had none responded to. What brought about the conversation? Something was asked of me. I didn't respond soon enough I guess. It has been 6 hours since the request was emailed to me.

Why didn't I reply? I guess I felt like I didn't need to since all my emails have been left in the sandbox with all the other toys. Does that make sense? Yea? Nah? When it happens to you I think you'll understand if you said 'nah'.

Would I have responded? I think I was going to in the AM after I woke up. At least that was my last decision about an hour ago. Alas. I am no longer needed for anything so I don't need to reply now. My street address will serve the purpose.

I'm a source of information. Yea me! "Glad I could help. =O"

06-24-2004 12:37 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/24/2004 12:37:00 AM 0 comments

Recently I've seen good people and... gooder people. = ) Family and friends. Sometimes, sadly, I forget how lucky I am to have what I have. This past weekend I was fortunate to have been in a situation where a reminder was handed to me; along with a box of fresh cookies. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

A family made up of happy, caring, giving people. Young. Old. You name it. I am lucky. So, so lucky. It's at times like these that I know why it's hard for writers to gush about the good things in their lives. I feel peace within me when I think about it all. I feel relaxed when I think about all of them. What else can I write? They are amazing.

On other happy notes... (B-minor) Emma has confirmed that Internet dating CAN be cool. Especially when said date writes comic books and other things fanboy related. (A-major) Avenga has proven that persistence pays off as she's making some headway with her networking in the acting community. (D-flat) And I have proven to myself that more work can be good. I like the fact that I'm busy at work. It feels like I'm accomplishing more now than I have in months. (F-sharp) La, la, laaaaaaa.

While all seems ëhunky dori' ñ what a strange saying - I am saddened to admit that I am still wandering in the dark regarding someone else. While I wade the waters... Another has chosen to embark on an adventure in NY. Shi-gatsu and None. What will the future bring? When will the flood gates open? A better question might be - Will then open? And if so, what will that mean to me?

Oh that reads like a movie tagline. Haha. Life. Life is 99.9% what you make of it. So, if you're life sucks... You suck. Swear by it, live by it, live in it. W3rd.

06-23-2004 12:31 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/23/2004 12:31:00 AM 0 comments

It seems that I can't get enough B5 lately. Season 1 is now in the can. The completed can that is. Jacek you were very kind to loan it to me. So very kind. I'm more excited about the show now than I was when I watched it 2+ years ago.

Water on the other hand I am beginning to get enough of because it's everywhere. I'm referring to the humidity. GAH! I don't do well with humidity PERIOD. Blah. Gah. Ick.

On an happy note: I seem to have overcome a wall that was keeping me at bay on the volley ball court. Yesterday I slammed home some SERIOUS hits. Many of which were STRAIGHT down. It felt good to play and to play well again. How could I think to quit? Sigh. Emotions can affect us in the most amazing ways. Especially when we least expect it.

Sadly though, the sanders will arrive tomorrow to strip the floor (AGAIN!). SLC likes their floors shiny and sticky. Too bad the sticky goes away quickly. AND... And the gym will be closed. What's up with that?! No... gasp... gym until July? Home work out here I come.

Lastly, it's nice to have the chance to watch/help someone go through the beginning steps to something foreign. Despite the fact that fear may be all around, the drive is still there. Rock. It's there, waiting to be unleashed which, of course, may take time. But there is plenty of that INdeed. The willingness to take the steps forward take guts. I hope Sunday is fun, fun, fun and the talk stays on the geek topics! I'm sure Joe will have plenty to add. Slingers!? Again... OY!

06-16-2004 12:54 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/16/2004 12:54:00 PM 0 comments

Last thought before I crash...

Ever feel like you're playing a game of pool... With a chalkless cue... On a less than balanced table... Not knowing what balls are on the table... With the lights off?

I do/have. Just wondering. Nite. (thump)

06-16-2004 12:57 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/16/2004 12:57:00 AM 0 comments

This story is directed to Ms. None. She has avoided me at great lengths lately. Why, I don't know. This is one step away from my last attempt to reach her online. My last attempt will take place in July.

06-16-2004 12:41 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/16/2004 12:41:00 AM 0 comments

Last night before I went to bed I wrote a short story. I thought about posting it but stopped myself. 24 hours have had their way with me. I'm not going to defend myself. My grammar is far from the best. I think the story speaks for itself. Short and sweet. Very short. = P
A short story by Gary Ploski

"Snip, snip?" thought the tree. The memory of a sound seemed just like yesterday... though there have been so many yesterdays. "Hmm" the tree grumbled. It must have been some time ago because the sun has been shining on me for as long as I can remember. "Now what caused that sound?" the tree coughed out loud to itself just as a squirrel tickled its inside. The tree placed the feeling of loss along side something that seemed familiar and grumbled again "I guess it's nothing to worry about. If I don't remember and the birds aren't here to remind me then I will just enjoy the sun. The sun has always been there for me. Every morning." Then, like the sun setting after a long day, the tree fell back into sleep.

06-16-2004 12:39 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/16/2004 12:39:00 AM 0 comments

And so I become "Casey at the bat." Well, I'm 0 for 2. What the next pitch is I'm not sure. Evenings like this make me wonder why it's a good idea to plan at all. I had planned on venturing into the city to make a night of it. Sadly my first contact was struck ill, and the second is... uh, not up to going out.

I'd like to think that I have a back up plan waiting in the wings. Avas ya scurvy dogs all me idears are f'r not! Aint none a'dem movin' pickchurs that grab me interest! Arrrrgh! Avas ya dogs! Argggggh!

Sorry bout that, Captain Dissolved stepped in there for a minute while I wasn't looking. Back in your cage now Cap'n. Your annoying little bird is waiting for you. (grumble grumble)

And so it is that time of year again. THAT time. Hint hint, wink wink... know what I mean? Enh? Enh?

No?

Well, hats off to you then. I know what I'm going to do. White Hoto Cocoa and Return of the King join to form... my plan. After that... mayyyybe a movie. There is a 10:10 movie. And since 1010 wins... Hmmm. Did I just figure out something profound?! I guess Teddy Rukspin (however that name is spelt) will have to answer us both soon enough.

06-11-2004 08:56 pm
- posted by garyploski @ 6/11/2004 08:56:00 PM 0 comments

I feel like I'm off the ride! AND because of that and a call to me mudda, I did something that is DAMN gutsy! Holy wow. I had to talk to someone before I did it. It's not good, it's actually really risky and she agreed with me.

Then again it really isn't because of my mind set, but it has the chance of being a big time downer or a nice relaxing ahhh-ing. I have no idea. HAHAHAHAHAH! I think that's what is so wildly exciting about it. IT, like in the book A Wrinkle in Time. IT, as in Information Technology. IT, as in what I did! BWAAHAHAHAHA!

06-10-2004 08:11 pm
- posted by garyploski @ 6/10/2004 08:11:00 PM 0 comments

I've realized that a radio wave is the best visual I could give someone to describe my present state of being. Why? Well, today proved it to me. I hit an AMAZING LOW today by missing a ball that just CRIED out to be slammed. I missed! Whiffff! Casey at the bat. Steeeeeerike one and two. It was THAT bad.

Moments later I hit a ball so hard and so well that I was commended by someone that is the definition of consistent. His face said it all... = O Followed by a "Wow. That was the best hit you've ever had."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can't control myself! At work... the same thing. At home... repeat. If I go out... GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUUUUMBLE! YIMMMINY! Something inside me is stirring and I'm not sure what it is.

Job = All good
Social life = It works
Sleep = Not a problem
Health = Oh yea, pfff, easy-easy-easy

So what is it... I can't say I have an answer damn it! It's very frustrating though. I feel like I'm listening to a discussion to bulldozer a house even though it won't exist in a few minutes anyway thanks to a interstellar highway.

I do, fortunately, feel ABLE to write about it now though. Over the past week or two every time I've gone out I've been up AND down within extremes. WTF! What was I turning into? An emotional wheel? Fah-that! I feel good. Rather, I feel better. I feel able and I think, ME willing, I feel able. = D

06-10-2004 02:41 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/10/2004 02:41:00 AM 0 comments

Two friggin things are Official. Get your attention?

One - I will be taking on a new role at SLC effective July 1 - Happy BDay me! Otanjobi omedeto! Well pre-happy celebration time.

2 - I finished Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix. All 8 hundred and 70 pages. Did it need to be 870 pages to fit all the nitty gritty story arcs into this saga... mother of god NO!

Why was this book so long? Well, the fact that Harry thought the same things time and time again from almost the start of the book all the way through to the end. I (the reader) was reminded of events that had taken place not 10 pages sooner.

Yes, I know this book was written for children, but come off it. The book should have been trimmed down. Sorry, not trimmed, DICED. A child isn't going to read this book like they read the first three. They were fast, to the point, and entertaining. The fourth was a little bit long and could have used some trimming, but on the whole the story carried through the entire book.

So what I'm saying is, I was disappointed with the book. OH! The death. Honestly it didn't surprise me at all and I didn't feel any loss for the death. Had I not read one page in the book I'd have missed the death I think. Of course it's talked about for a sometime but the scene itself was so brief as... Actually, I indicated to someone that it would have to be quick or it would be a true death. I say this, because death in a book that happens in a hospital or elsewhere isn't exciting or shocking. They're boring, so this death made sense I guess... In the fashion that it took place.

On another note. SILENCE is frustrating. = O

I'm getting very tired of others having a problem with something and instead of saying something about it let it fester within for... ever, or until they feel okay to say something. This isn't fair to others involved. Just because YOU know what's going on doesn't mean that it's your right to keep them out of the loop. This goes for all you XX's and XY's out there. If there is something on your mind do one of two things.

1 - let it go or
2 - discuss it

Am I pointing my finger at anyone you ask? Honestly I don't think I need to answer that question but I will. No. There are too many people doing this daily. I'm not going to point the finger at anyone in particular.

06-08-2004 10:40 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/08/2004 10:40:00 AM 0 comments

Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a place called cyber land. Er... I found myself on a road in the dark with no lights on save for my car. Fortunately the other cars that were going along beside me had their lights on too. After some time the cars trickled off until I was alone on the road.

I saw a small light, white, not red like it should have been. And only one light, not two. I slowed down but continued. "What the...?" A bicycle? Zoom - right past the two wheeler. "Well that was odd." A short time later another one. This time I kept my speed up. Then, another, and another.

I began swerving around to avoid them because there were so many until... a screech... Next thing I know I'm stopped. Outside my car I see hundreds of people on bikes swarming like bees. Many of which were yelling at me. I felt completely confused. Almost as though my body had it in for me right before I was about to make a decision - continue driving or get out - I woke up.

Full of images and open to interpretation. Personally, I think I'm too far gone to even begin figuring out what any of it "means". I'll just keep "rolling with the homies" until I stop having these normal dreams. = )

06-03-2004 03:37 pm
- posted by garyploski @ 6/03/2004 03:37:00 PM 0 comments

Well the morning "fun" appeared to disappear after some time. The "fun" did continue before it faded with an email and internal shite. Damn internal shite. "Things get harder before they get easier." Blah, blah, blah. Yea, yea, yea.

So the morning riled me up some and happily dissipated during the rest of the day which brought me to happy places. I felt light on my feet... er, I felt okay. It was nice. Late in the afternoon I found my RotK DVD waiting for me so I smiled a gleeful smile and gallivanted to the gym. This is where life decided to remind me of what a Mobius Strip is. Thanks life, I'm well aware of what it is thanks. Note to life: The reminder was unnecessary.

The morning struck again. Quit. That was in my head more times than I'd like to admit. "Just come up with an excuse Gar. Just find something else to do..." UGH! Another one of those days where I couldn't get my mind and body to work together. I really need to get focused again. I'm losing it and I'm affecting other people which I feel awful about. The problem remains... I hurt and there is little I can do about it.

Sure, I can go the easy route - "Ah fuk it! This is stupid, ya know what F.U.!" Because as everyone knows, that is 100% me.

I can go the self doubt road - "What have I done? What did I do? I should have done this, or that, or the other thing." Nope, not going there either because I'm confident in myself and have no regret for my past.

Or I can go the OTHER emotional path - Sitting at home weeping and wallowing in my pain. God, that sounds pathetic to me.

I feel - of this I am happy. I don't feel good all the time - of this I'm kinda enh. I feel pain inside me - of this I, oddly enough, smile at, yet sink into myself at the same time.

Okay enough purging...

Politics remind me of professional sport teams. How? Say you have Team Blue with 11 players - 3 of which are ultra famous. On Team Rocket is 11 players with 2 ultra famous people. For some STRAAAANGE reason the owners decide to screw with the league and swap the rosters at the end of the season. "WHAT THE FAH!" everyone gasps.

Training begins and the teams get ready for the season. The press, will of course, make their comments about the swap until the season starts. A week or so into the season the 'swap talk' dies down and everyone is back to routing for their team --- Team Blue or Team Rocket.

It doesn't matter WHO is on the team - the TEAM is who everyone cheers for. It doesn't matter who is on the field. All that matter is "MY TEAM" is out there. But is this right? What if "MY TEAM" isn't doing what they always do? Say their going against a principal that they always stood behind - ex: kids day. Normally Team Blue had kids day, now Team Rocket does.

All the fans for Team Blue will miss it for a while, then get used to the way things are with the players from Team Rocket. While the other fans get to experience kids day.

The same thing happens with politics. Reps and Dems aren't always standing behind their Team's plan. Sometimes they're with the other team... Yet all the while there are die hards that will support a Team regardless of what they do.

Say one of the parties stands behind, uh, free book day. Okay, now that has been in effect for a long time now, but suddenly, the man in charge of the said Team decides he/she wants to change free book day into free sci-fi book day... all other books cost money. "That's okay, it's still free book day and I stand behind my Team." WHAT?! That's not what it's about. It's supposed to be free BOOK day - any book.

Yes this is abstract, it's supposed to be. I'm not telling my full opinions here. Heh, yea right. If a Team stands for something and defends a topic or choice, the Team should stand behind the decision. Or, they should switch Teams. This goes for Dems and Reps.

Phew, THAT was a rant. Out.

06-03-2004 12:22 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/03/2004 12:22:00 AM 0 comments

Pressure in mah head caused a few things today:

1 - I slept awful
2 - I woke up late
3 - I left late
4 - I got a parking ticket
5 - I dropped the ticket & check in the mailbox at the Post Office to "save" $15 off the normal fee - $40 6 - I got to work after 930
7 - I'm now writing about it

Yesterday made my life here at SLC QUITE interesting. Both senior people (Jenn and Mike) will not be here. Jenn already gone and Mike soon to follow - 1 month.

This means? This means I'll hopefully get Mike's job and we'll find someone for Jenn's position ASAP. Should I get Mike's job I'll have MUCH more to do here at work so I smile. Though I don't know how easy it's going to be to take time off which sucks because I do have lots of friends/family, and possible a particular persNONE coming to visit. Fingers crossed.

Singing that note I found myself very sad over the past few days. I'm not surprised by the feeling of course. And I do understand why I feel it too. Looking at things in my apartment makes it rough. Gah... I'm kind of at a loss for words this AM so I stop now.

Look up in the sky, it's a bird - yup.
It's a plane - yup.
It's the sun!

06-02-2004 09:55 am
- posted by garyploski @ 6/02/2004 09:55:00 AM 0 comments