Thinking about competition
The other day at VBall things were... different. Normally there are, at most, seven people on the court. Quyen, Drew, Ali, Carmen, Kate, Bryn, and lil ol me. All of us have our strengths which out weigh our weaknesses allowing for some rockin VBall. This Sunday was different.
A challenge for someone that is passionate about something and has been for a long time is to ease back a notch or two or six to allow someone else to catch up or play along. It's hard. Anyone that's been involved in competitive sports would understand this sentiment. We (the group noted above) welcomed three new people to the court on Sunday which changed the feeling of the day. These three people were very brave in that they jumped into something they knew nothing about and stayed the whole time. I commend them for this.
The difficult thing was/is this - we want to play hard. At least most of us do. It's obvious in the speed of play and the strength of serves and spikes. We're killing the ball. Now anyone that's played sports also knows that a younger player's game will improve when they interact with someone more skilled with them. Unfortunately skill levels will also drop when things start to falter, despite the skill set of anyone playing. This is tough to deal with easily. I... did not deal with this well. =
After playing we hit for a while (one person sets while the others spoke). I was setting the whole time until nearly everyone finished. Fortunately Ali asked me if I wanted to hit before we put the net away. If she hadn't I don't think I would have been able to get out any of my frustration. I pushed myself to move fast and to hit hard. I messed up lots but I felt the power behind my actions. It... was needed in a bad way. Ahhh. I felt a wee bit better.
It wasn't until another hour had passed - to my surprise - that I felt more relaxed. Mind you I'm not ULTRA competitive, but I don't like get involved in something that's considered hard core only to walk away feeling like it was back yard style VBall. = Sigh. I was upset with myself too for letting it get to me. I tried while driving home to push it out of me but it just didn't want to leave me.
It's now a full 24 hours later, at least, and I know I'm okay now, but I'll admit I am a little bit worried about next Sunday. Yup yup yup... having expectations suck when they're ruined. Damnnit damnnit damnnit. Fingers crossed. = D Why not smile about it now. It's not like I didn't get to play. Gotta find the plus in it. Thinking more about it, maybe the other people that played saw something that will inspire them to try harder so that they can compete with us. = D Positive thinking. Must think positive. Oyasumi.
02-24-2004 12:24 am