How does it feel?
How does it feel to be thirty?
Well... To be perfectly frank... I'm exceedingly happy that the event is over. Its been torture getting through a day I typically bountifully enjoy. What happened? I don't know.
It all started out great with a fun gathering back in June with friends and fam. Things seemed great. Over the next few weeks though I began to recognize some frustrations (written about previously). Then, at some point, it just went into free fall. I was sad, frustrated, anxiety driven, and anticipating the end of the 13th. The fridge appeared to break, on the 13th, and the eve of board games was flat and well, exhausted.
Two uncommon things that happened which brought a smile into the day were a cake and card from the ACD peeps (all of em) and a convo with Alice and emma in Alice's new ride. Now what was it that made this such an unmanageable day?
For whatever reason the large majority of my friends and acquaintances decided my birthday was earlier than my birthday. Hell, everyone was getting it wrong. Whether it was in June (just after the surprise party) or in July (a week before or even the day before!) Nobody seemed to pay attention to that little thing called detail. I take that back, many people did and to those that remembered your simple and kind words were deeply welcomed. Itsumo domo arigato gozaimasu.
Mmm. I don't want to go through something like that again. It was probably the most frustrating bday ever on one of the biggest days. Thirty is something special. Arguably 1/3 of a life is complete. That's hella kickin ass! 1/3! Phew. Happily... Heheh... I don't feel it. Time has affected me, sure, but it hasn't conducted me in the way that I've seem most others my age. Aka - married with children. Sure I just moved into my first "place" but that's a far cry from the m w/c position noted a moment ago. )shudder( None for me thanks.
I'm not what society has told me I'm to be. I find myself confused at times wondering where I fit in. Just yesterday emma and I went to see "March of the Penguins" and found ourselves in a see of "we don't fit in here". We were surrounded by families, grand parents, seniors, etc. We were the sole people within our age brackets. AKA not married with children out with the fam. It's confusing at times. I do relish in the moment when I recognize that I'm breaking a strange cultural norm. That is, it's wonderful to know that something so little can break a norm.
I don't know if I understand any of what I've written because it's been a while since the 13th and I'm melting due to the humidity. Also, painting has happened. Sleep has and hasn't happened. Me mudda actually came to NY to visit - aka to help paint. Time has been hurrying its way forward. Slow down Earth. Would'ja mind?
Now, I think it's time for some melting sleep.
Let the next 1/3 of fun begin! Until next year... In July... On the 13th... I remain 30!